It’s Time To Go

It’s been a week since it happened and about two weeks since I wrote about me always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Remember when I said I needed to let go and trust? Well…I’ll let Taylor Swift handle this one:

Alexa, play “It’s Time to Go”…

“That old familiar body ache. The snaps from the same little breaks in your soul. You know when it’s time to go.”

I started sensing that things were different after a month. Our conversations when we weren’t together were less frequent. Granted, I started retreating after I discovered those texts from “JT”. But it was up to him make me feel like I could trust him again and make me feel like he really was focused on me. It’s kind of hard to do that when you spend most of your day on Instagram and less time talking to me throughout the day.

Yes, we both have jobs. But he’s always telling me about how his day was uneventful. His busy days were few far and in between. He always found time to check on IG. So needless to say in February, I confronted him because we all know it goes down in the DMs. Instagram is notorious for that.

My ex spent a lot of his time on Twitter and he started bailing on me for plans. I’ve seen this movie before.

When I asked him about his IG habits, he replied “Ok, I spend a lot of time on Instagram. So what? If you want to talk to me you can initiate conversation.”

I asked “Is there someone else on IG that you’re more interested in?” Of course, I knew he would lie and say “No”. He did. He told me that he was only interested in what was going on between us.

And then it happened. We had plans to go out together just the two of us and he let his friends hijack our plans after they spent hours at the casino to go to a…STRIP CLUB.

To make matters worse, he tried to make me feel like the bad guy for ignoring his texts when he got home. How am I supposed to feel? I feel not only disrespected by his friends but by him. You bailed on me to look at other women naked and then want to make me feel guilty for not running to your side after you finally make it home? I think the fuck not. Also, I was spending time with someone else. Did I have sex with him? No. I thought it about it though because it’s not a bad sit and spin, if you know what I mean. Been there, got the t-shirt.

Of course the next day, we had a huge fight over the phone because his last text of the night was “I guess you’re ignoring me. Have a nice weekend” as if he wasn’t even going to attempt to right his tremendous fuck up.

We wound up coming to an understanding, once he admitted that he was foul for what he did. I wound up meeting him at a bar, which was a bad move because when I’m fucked up emotionally I avoid food. So having not eaten in over 24 hours and pounding whiskey sours to hide my pain was a bad move. I had a bad time. I argued with him and told him to go fuck someone else because “That’s what you want to do anyways”. I knew I was right internally and drunk mouths speak sober thoughts. He finally got me to calm down with water and gave me a ride home from the bar. The next day we were at the beach and I posted a pic on Snapchat to which one friend replied, “Is that the strip club guy? WTF?” He’s not the best looking guy in the world.

Fast forward a week later, he decides to take me to the casino with him for a double date with his friend and his girlfriend. He won $600. He asked me if I wanted to go to brunch on Sunday and me thinking he still wanted to make up for what he did the week before, I said sure. So, we go to brunch and he decides to nickel and dime me later that night for what I ordered. Keep in mind we went to brunch in La Jolla and he goes “You ordered the most expensive thing on the menu!” while we were fighting — it was a $24 lobster roll plate. Also, mind you I have paid for things as well. But he decided to ask me what I thought the “ratio” of how many things I pay for versus what he pays for is. All I can say is: WOW.

I slept on the couch and my bum ass dog slept in the bed with him. Fucking traitor…

The next morning as we were leaving, I told Aiden as I was loading him into the car, “Say goodbye buddy.” To which he who shall remain nameless said “Goodbye, like permanently?”. What else should you expect after the last few weeks? He looked sad and said “I don’t want it to be over. Can’t we work it out?”. I replied “I need time.”

Needless to say, I finished work that day, logged out and ended it over FaceTime. The most surprising thing about this: HE FUCKING CRIED. Yes, he cried. Give that MF an Oscar and a Screen Actors Guild membership because only a few days after, he stopped spending all day every day on Instagram. I wonder why….

“Sometimes giving up is the strong thing. Sometimes to run is the brave thing. Sometimes walking out is the one thing that will find you the right thing…”

While I am sad that I wasted just shy of three months of my life with someone who took me for granted and used me, I’m also glad that I told him to peace out on my own accord. I’ve learned to trust my gut instincts. That’s worth its weight in gold.

It could have been longer. But I knew in my soul that it was time to go and so I went…