Innocence
Sex is complex. Having sex too early in a relationship can cloud things, or ruin them all together if ultimately that is the guy’s goal. Or sex can be beautiful and bring two people closer together. I would categorize this experience as the latter.
If you’ve read my story “Know You”, then you know that I caught the lust bug really quickly in my last serious relationship. I wanted him when I saw him. His dimples and smile made me weak in the knees.
After our third date, we went back to his house and we hung out. We watched Impractical Jokers and cuddled. I felt a warmness I hadn’t felt in a long time. It just felt right. Maybe my lust for him was blinding me but at that point I didn’t care. He looked deep into my eyes and kissed me gently. I smiled and kissed him back gently while my hand touched one of his pecs. We both started breathing a little heavier and the kisses got hungrier as he traced the neckline of my dress with his fingertip. I stopped and told him I didn’t want to go any further, at least not that night. He was ok with it. I spent the night, we cuddled and he brought me back home the next day.
A week later, it was the 4th of July and he wanted to introduce me to his friends. Naturally, I was down. So, we make it to his friend’s party down in Pacific Beach and of course, it’s a shit show because it’s PB.
After some cornhole and beer pong, he decided he wanted some alone time with me. We held hands and walked down the boardwalk. It was twilight and the sun was setting. I turned to him on the crowded boardwalk filled with drunken idiots, stood on my toes and kissed him. It seemed like time stood still and in that moment I knew I wanted to be with him that night. I said to myself “I’m gonna break him off”.
I had work at 4 am but we didn’t stop hanging out and drinking until 12 am. There was no way, I was going to work. So, we make it back to his house and I called out sick so I could have sex with him and also not drive to work still legally drunk. But it was mostly the sex part.
This innocence is brilliant. I hope that it will stay. This moment is perfect. Please don’t go away. I need you now. And I’ll hold on to it, don’t you let it pass you by.
In the moonlight peaking through his blinds, we kissed, undressed each other and he felt like I imagined he would. His hands on my body, caressing my face as he kissed me and looked into my eyes…it was everything I imagined it would be.
It’s a state of bliss, you think you’re dreaming. It's the happiness inside that you’re feeling. It’s so beautiful, it makes you want to cry.
When the sun came up, I grabbed one of his t-shirts to throw on over myself so I could run to the restroom just in case somebody else in the house was up. I came back and we locked eyes. He told me I looked beautiful and I crawled back into bed where we went at it again. Best not sick, sick day ever.