Freedom

JuneteenthHistoryDating & RelationshipsLiving AuthenticallyBlack Womanhood
Written By Nickole
“I prayed for freedom for twenty years, but received no answer until I prayed with my legs.”
— Frederick Douglass

Happy Juneteenth, fam! I decided to write a spur of the moment post because the spirit of the day and an experience I had last night has compelled me to. I decided a Frederick Douglass quote was a good starting point because the experience I had last night is the result of no longer hoping that I would find someone who wouldn’t try to gaslight me about history and attempt to dilute my Blackness into something more palatable for him, but the result of my action. I upgraded my screening process, and it has rewarded me with the liberation my heart and soul desired: to be unapologetically Black, sincerely seen and appreciated for it.

Before I get into that:

I picked abolitionist, orator and writer Frederick Douglass, because he was a key figure in the fight for freedom; He skillfully linked it to education, moral courage and active resistance. He was 1000% correct. If you know better, you can discern lies from truth. When you know better, you won’t just take someone’s word. Knowledge enables you to act against oppression. Why do you think they made learning to read illegal for slaves? Why do you think they introduced literacy tests to keep Black men from voting during Reconstruction and Jim Crow? Why do you think the Conservative Super-majority Supreme Court overturned Affirmative Action, which effectively decreased Black college enrollment by 1/3? Why do you think Republican Senator from Texas, John Cornyn cheered the decision overturning Roe v. Wade and said “Now do Brown v Board and Plessy v Ferguson” before backlash made him delete that tweet? Why do you think Barack and Michelle Obama live rent-free in their minds? Nothing pisses off a racist white person more than an educated Black person.

And how do I know this? I existed in an interracial relationship like that. I was called “combative” for pointing out that he was wrong about the 2020 election being stolen because “There’s more voters than there are people in the country”. I pointed out the population of the U.S. is approximately 330-350 million, the number of voters in that election totaled approximately 150 million and his math wasn’t mathin’. He also tried to tell me Putin was more trustworthy than former President Joe Biden because of some bullshit interview he watched the former KGB agent do with Tucker Carlson. I brought up the fact that he’s former KGB and history shows us Russia is not our friend. I guess he hasn’t read up on The Cold War, the Nuclear Arms Race, the Space Race, Sputnik, the Cuban Missile Crisis… Essentially, I was his worst nightmare — A woman, a BLACK woman he couldn’t just tell false things and I’d nod and smile. You got me twisted.

Anti-Blackness can exist in friendships as well. I’ve written about how I’ve had to cut loose one friend who was consistently telling lies about Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) being the cause of why the damage for the Los Angeles wildfires were so bad instead of the truth; Which is, Santa Ana winds are powerful, dry winds that can be hurricane force, wind can carry sparks and LA is densely populated along with climate issues. But I guess blaming minorities is easier than looking at facts. My ears were the wrong audience for that shit, and I let him know as much. We all know DEI is just code for the N word with the hard R by now. Pete Kegsbreath is stopping the promotions of qualified Black individuals in the military, despite having a Black man lift a barbell off his puny little white nationalist chest while his pasty chicken legs spazzed out. Looks like diversity, is Pete’s strength.

With so much fuckery going on in the world of race relations, I was glad to be reminded that spaces exist where empathy and understanding exist. As I stated before, my trip to The Getty in LA made me feel closer to Gingersnap and I was impressed with his comfortability during the Black Photography exhibit. I completely forgot he made reservations to attend a Black storytelling event called “I Said What I Said” on Thursday in La Jolla. A group of artists and writers known as So Say We All in partnership with wait for it… “Giants” by Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats put on the event. I got emotional resonating with stories where people were told to shrink themselves because lord knows I’ve had it happen to me in relationships and friendships. You’re too much. You’re too opinionated. Why’s it gotta be black? Black people share the experience of not having the luxury of being ourselves in certain spaces. In that moment, it felt good to be in a space where we could be authentically Black ass selves and share our stories/art/experiences with white people who wanted to understand. That is so powerful.

What’s more? The man I’ve been seeing wanted to bring me there. He didn’t get uncomfortable hearing the traumatic experiences with racism, misogyny and the caution with which we proceed around certain people and in certain places. Gingersnap makes me feel like it’s ok to take up space. He encourages my writing. He encourages my political Threads, where I’m nearing 20K followers. He encourages me to just be me. He’s ok with me taking space in his life. He wants me to feel empowered to keep taking up space in the world and not shying away.

And on this Juneteenth, I want to express gratitude to the universe. I said wrote what I wanted: a man with seasoning, empathy and someone who respects all parts of me; It gave me a Ginger with a salt and paprika beard, who is Liberal, anti-racist, uses seasoning in his food, doesn’t try to gaslight me about the Civil War, doesn’t try to water down my Blackness and doesn’t have a weird obsession with the year 1776 despite having served in the military. He’s so different from everything I’ve experienced in interracial relationships. Lastly, he celebrated Juneteenth by learning to make black-eyed peas and cornbread because I love black ass peas and cornbread. I feel seen and I feel free. But again, I don’t think any of that could have happened without my action of screening with a fine-toothed comb to make sure I didn’t end up with a closet racist again.

Hopefully, I can make him feel comfortable enough to dance at the Nas & De La Soul concert in August.

One more time for the people in the back: Happy Freedom Day. Now, go celebrate with your Black friends if you have some. If you don’t have any Black friends…go make you some.

And another thing: I said what I said.

 

Sources

〰️

Sources 〰️











































Nickole
Next

Pictures in an Exhibition