Dandelion

“I hate society’s notion that there is something wrong with sex. Something wrong with a woman who loves sex.”
— Alessandra Torre

Women who speak openly about sex—or dare to own their sexuality—are often maligned by society. Which is wild, honestly, because let’s be real: there are men watching Pornhub daily, subscribing to OnlyFans, and following women just because they’re half-naked in every photo on their grid.

I’ve never shied away from the topic of sex, and I’m not about to start now. I may not be having any at the moment, but I felt inspired to write about it—mostly because I was going through my drawers, decluttering clothes I no longer wear or that don’t fit, and…

I came across some lingerie I bought two years ago. Tags still on. Bought during a relationship with someone who definitely didn’t deserve to see me in it.

It got me thinking: how nice would it be to find someone who does deserve that version of me? Someone worthy of all the gifts I’m willing to give in a relationship.

Alexa, play “Dandelion” by Ariana Grande…

“Mean what I say, say what I mean. Not one to play, I am as you see. I give my word. These other boys, they’re one in the same. I’m tryna say, I want you to stay…”

It’s funny—I’m actually kind of glad the last time I had sex was nearly a year ago. Let’s go ahead and round up; I’m like a week and a half away from the anniversary. At first, it was difficult. The urges are real. And sure, sometimes I’d feel low, wondering if anyone would ever want me in that way again—because of my circumstance.

But overall? It’s been good for me. Like I’ve said before, it gave me the space to possibly be ready when someone truly special enters my orbit. Someone who is 1) understanding and 2) likes (or loves) me enough to think I’m worth it.

Hold the applause. Thank you, thank you. You’re too kind.

It does feel like a feat because I am, by nature, a sexually expressive person—even if that’s not obvious on the surface. I’m unassuming in almost every way. I don’t ooze sex appeal the way some women do—but I’ve never had any complaints. 😉

My married guy friend always says, “The boys always come back to Nickole’s yard,” whenever a guy tries to spin the block after ending things. Apparently, I look better in the rearview mirror. I just want someone who sees me and chooses me the first time—not after realizing the grass wasn’t greener.

“These other flowers don’t grow the same. So just leave it here with me. Let’s get dirty, dirty…”

Not to sound like Jenny on The League when she said Kevin would never leave her because, quote: “I have great confidence in my pussy.” I don’t have “vaginal hubris,” as Ruxin put it—but I do think every woman should feel confident in her abilities in the bedroom.

It’s funny, though—I don’t feel that same confidence applies to men. You don’t have to throw a quick deep bomb to the end zone. Sometimes time of possession is more important. Get those sets of downs, move the ball down the field, and then score. Touchdown!

As for me? I’m a little rusty. Been on IR (Injured Reserve), so I’m not setting expectations. The bar is probably in hell, to be honest.

But one thing I do know: when I care about someone and I’m in a relationship, I’m a generous, giving partner. That’s a constant. All they have to do is not blow it.

“And yes, I promise. If I’m being honest.
You can get anything you’d like.
Can’t you see I bloom at night?
Boy, just don’t blow this. Got me like ‘What’s your wish list?’
You can get anything you’d like. I’ll be your dandelion…”

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Photo by Herbert Goetsch on Unsplash